Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Taking the Test!

So many people have asked the story about finding out that we were pregnant and well I am finally getting around to it.

The first couple of months after being married we have been so paranoid which we found our self taking a Pregnancy test almost once a month.
If I was a day late I would take one.
If I felt different I would take one.
If I felt sick I would take one...
you get the point.
Anyways each time we took one Pete usually knew I was taking one and in the back of our minds we were ready for the 2 lines to pop up on the "pee stick". However, after having so many negative tests we kind of gave up and trusted the birth controls/protections we were using. We hadn't taken one for probably the last two months cause we realized we were being too paranoid.

November 17th, I was talking to the ladies at work and for some reason we were talking about pregnancy symptoms. I being involved in the conversation happened to ask if you can still have cramps when your pregnant. (that morning I had woken up with cramps but had not started my period yet) Not thinking anything of it even after they told me that yes when you are pregnant you can still have cramps. I went back to whatever I was doing and then Heather whom thinks that she can tell when someone is pregnant(which she has been right so far) said, "You are pregnant". I was just walking out the door to go take a deposit to the bank and they insisted I stop and get a pregnancy test. NO NO NO, I am not pregnant. I mean not even a part of me thought that I could be. I went on my way and while I was driving I decided to stop and get one just to make the ladies happy and to prove Heather wrong. I ran into Wal-mart and got the cheapest one I could find, Of course I was not going to spend a ton of money on something I know I am just going to throw away because it was going to be negative.
(Little did I know that was the Pee stick that would be change my life and be keep in a scrapbook or whatever forever!)

So, I get back to the office and instantly go to the bathroom without telling them I picked one up. Well, I didn't have a watch or my phone so I had to seriously count to 180 (3 Minutes) so I would know when it is done. I pick up the stick and there was 2 lines...."See I told them I am not pregnant"... as I go to put it in the garbage I realize on the front of the "pee stick" 2 lines is positive...... WHAT!! NO WAY! Scared out of my mind I stove the stick in my pocket and go to my desk and stair at the wall for 2 hours in shock... seriously starring!

I did have one more "pee stick" left (it came with 2) however, it says its more effective in the morning so I decided to wait.... Longest night of my life! That night Pete had to work late and that was also the night he plays basketball with his friends so I knew he wouldn't be home till I was already in bed. In a way I wanted him there to comfort me but then if I really was (I was still in denial at this time) then I wanted to surprise him and I knew if he came home while I was awake I wouldn't be able to keep it from him.
So back to that night... horrible, I didn't sleep for more then maybe a hour. I kept having dreams that I was smashing my baby by sleeping on me stomach, or that something was wrong with my baby. I couldn't take it any long and got up about 4AM thinking that was morning enough, and peed on stick #2....... 2 lines again! I couldn't go back to bed now, so I got ready for work and left before Pete woke up so that I wouldn't give it away. On the way to work I stopped at my parents to ask my mom if she had any baby stuff (to tell Pete with). I knew that my mom would not catch on, I told her I needed it for my works white elephant gift, she looked at me and said, "How is baby stuff funny?" Then she handed me baby onsies, bottles and a bib. That's what I had to work with. She also went on to tell me a horror story about a girl we knew that was pregnant and 2 days before she was due they found out the baby didn't have a heartbeat. After my dreams and this story I was TERRIFIED! I hurried and left before I broke out in tears.
I get to work attempting to not tell anyone, when Heather comes running up saying, "Your Pregnant huh?" I couldn't hold it in, I lost in and broke down in tears. Tears of fear, happiness, nervous, hormones, and every other emotion that one person can have. She quickly ran me upstairs to tell the other girls. This was a Wednesday and I was planning on waiting Thursday which was mine and Pete's 6 month anniversary and we planned to go to dinner. However, I knew I couldn't wait. I needed him. That day at work I texted him saying that maybe we should celebrate tonight because he had to go home teaching which he forgot about Thursday and I didn't want to wait. However, I knew he had class and he wasn't one for missing class so I had to come up with a good reason. I told him I had a BIG surprise and I had to give him it that night. He texted me back, "We are going over 2 chapters tonight so it better be a giant surprise."
At the time Pete was trying to look for a new job, I knew that he was hoping and thinking that the BIG surprise was that I found him a new job.....
oh no this is really going to be a shock for him!
I hurried and got the onsie my mom gave me and wrote "See you in 9 months daddy". I had also made him a card and in it a wrote something like, I can't wait to have kids with you.....
So on my way home from work, he called me, I pick up and

Pete: Are you Pregnant?
Me: What? No? Who told you that?
Pete: Well cause Unz asked me when we were going to have kids and then I thought maybe that was the surprise? (Also he asked for a clue when we were texting and I said he doesn't cost money now but it will) So after that clue and Unz asking, it popped into his mind that could be it.
Me: (not wanting to ruin it over the phone) say NO NO NO
Pete: Oh good my heat dropped when he asked that

I get off the phone scared to death to tell him now. I expected him to go into shock just like I did but I was excited to see him excited after the shock.
So..... we meet at my parents house and he instantly wants his big surprise. I told him he will have to wait till after dinner. He was nervous, I think he started to know it wasn't me finding him a new job which got him nervous of what it could be.
We pull into Chef Toms (My choice, love it) and I say ok maybe I should just give it to you now. I hand him and gift bag and he pulls out the Onsie....

Now a little background history, back in September my sister got pregnant and did the whole "pee stick". Pete wasn't there when she showed her husband so I thought it would be funny to trick him when he got there and tell him its mine. Well, it didn't work he knew I was lying and so I did have a history of trying to trick him.

Back to the story.......
He pulls out the onsie, and says, "Your joking again right?" with a scared voice and look on his face. I told him this was for real and broke down crying. He was in shock. Now don't get us wrong, we want kids.... a lot of kids and were so excited for that day to come, but we didn't feel ready, We are both in school, working full time, living in a one bedroom basement..... we didn't feel ready. Pete, after sharing all his concerns explained how he had to go to his parents to get a fathers blessing, He said I know I have the wrong attitude about this and I don't want too. I was not wanting to tell our parents for another week or so and let it sink into us first and also wanted to tell them a cute way but it changed when he said that, I knew that was the best thing and I was so proud that he would even think of that.
So to shorten up the story we told his parents that night by giving then the same onsie, They both cried and were so happy for us. They explained to us that no one is ever ready enough and that everything will be fine!!! The next night I went to the temple with my parents, since Pete had to work late he meet me at my parents and we told them. They were so excited and supportive as well!
That week I had so many emotions come over me, I have always dreamed of having kids and the month after we got married I was asking Pete how long we had to wait to have one, but then again I wanted to be ready, I wanted to be able to stay at home with my baby and not send it off to someone else to watch, Pete wanted to be able to support our family which at this time in our lives we both felt we weren't ready to have one income and provide for this little one we were bringing to this world.
We were scared!
We soon realized what a HUGE and WONDERFUL blessing this is in our lives. He knew that this was meant to be. And what a blessing it is to have the opportunity to bring this little spirit to this world and raise it as our own. It takes a lot of putting your trust in the Lord, but I think that no matter how ready you are you have to trust in the Lord that things are going to be ok. Over the past couple of months I have felt so lucky and blessed to be carrying my own baby. I know there is some out there that can't even do that.
Being pregnant is something that you can't explain unless you have gone through it. Knowing that you have something inside of you that you are taking care of is amazing. I feel like I have a bond with it even though I don't even know if its a boy or girl.
All our fears have gone away!
No we didn't become rich, or buy a big enough house, or even find a new job for only one of us to work however, we know its going to be ok, and all that matters is the love we give to this little baby that's OURS!!

So that's the story that has changed our lives and what a blessing its been so far!!

1 comment:

  1. THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!! I totally love it!! Life is hard and no matter how much you think you have a plan....well heavenly father has a different plan for your life...and well if we trust in him, he will never leave us. Love you MAL!! your gonna be such a good mom:)